David, I admit to frustration. This post is centered on the idea of a personal myth, and you tell us that your personal myth has solidified, but you never state it or formulate it.
I can only guess that it would be painful to put it down nakedly in so many words.
My preference would be for you to not discuss your personal myth unless you are willing to share it explicitly and plainly with us.
Since we live approximately 1800 miles apart and we are not personally acquainted, I can only express a very long-distance view, but your narrative arc appears to resemble that of Andrew Carnegie, who spent his first period of life building up resources and his last season of life wisely sharing them.
The words below were my effort to capture what I view as my personal myth. Let me know if you think I ought to be more specific or clarify anything.
"Now, four years later, I feel that my myth has solidified. I spend much of my time looking after and helping others. Being a decent person.
It’s not the myth of a hero or a charismatic leader or the creator of anything legendary. It’s simply taking advantage of opportunities to commit numerous acts of kindness and love, some small, some larger."
If you don't mind Kathleen and I'm not attempting toto speak for David but what I think happens to all of us. Life is so large and we are also so wide abs deep that if we are so certain and have a very narrow myth at some point it won't fit us. For example if I say my myth is I'm a person who always does good things and spreads cheer. Or I am the person who fixes problems. What if we discover we frequently cause problems or what we think is good is actually harmful what happens to our myth. Then we might have to change it. Saying I'm the best accountant in the state can be a personal myth and an actual fact or maybe only one of them is true for us. That's a really narrow way to see ourselves as a good accountant.
My point is that the myth we tell ourselves is likely to be vague and ill defined if it's not like a person who thinks he's the best deal maker who ever dealt deals it's a maybe not good for us and less likely to be true.
I don't know man, I think it's really good if we can share what our personal myths are and get questions not saying it's wrong but why that specific myth and how the person is making it real because it helps us get there and discover who we are.
My last thoughts are the myths we have about ourselves are more interesting and important than what they actually are. And like you Kathleen I felt part of David's myth was a bit vague it's more than one thing. But I liked it because he showed he has a better idea what it's not 😂😆 which I thought is pretty damn cool.
I don't even know if mine is even a myth. I try not to take mine to seriously I just try and focus on what I feel and want. Thanks for reading me.
Now y’all have gotten me to wondering what my personal myth is. I’ll chew on this tonight while driving my late night wedding shuttle for peanuts, in my polyester company shirt. So I’ll steer clear of the grandiose.
Thanks Banji for the comment. You make no sense interesting point about how specific a personal myth can be. I think of an athlete in their prime who is the best in the world at something and then later is not.
LOVE this post. Especially this: No success or victory is too small to be insignificant. Each interaction with a customer, a vendor, or a fellow employee is an opportunity for a “win.” It is these small wins that are the surest path to overall winning.
...meaninglessness and dread. Those words got me and describe how I feel sometimes, specially after a successful event. Its that now what and what's it all about feeling, and maybe wondering if the best is behind us. Its not. You live by living and experiencing the joy
When I retired from full time employment the focus shifted from what do I do as an individual to how will I find deeper meaning in given and chosen family relationships.
I absolutely love A Dance to the Music of Time and it’s the perfect example of creating a myth - knitting together stories and observations from the slow arc of a life and the accumulation of small observations. This is now sometimes also called branding, especially on social media. The best way I’ve heard it described is basically: what do people think of when they think of you? and I really do think that’s the best way to consider it. What do you mean to people?
Everyone means lots of things; I think it’s really affirming to think of it that way.
Sure you don´t really think you´d be able to `make sense´ of your life story while being involved in it ? Maybe your mother, relatives, former pets a.o. now being THERE and looking down on you and smiling might have a clue and hope for the best of you that and while you keep on keeping on (analogue to "win by winning") - if they really care at all - prob´ly they´re, "their soul" or whatever are already tangled up in new "circumstances" or still recovering from their life on `Earth´. You´ll `know´ sooner or later, don´t worry.
This Substack is one of the few I open every single week, and always enjoy and learn from. Your comment about doing small good things each day made me think of my favorite line from the irreplaceable Annie Dillard: "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."
Your post reminds me of Hamlet's line: "There is nothing either true or false but thinking makes it so." We assign significance to that which we deem significant. And we can deem anything significant. I'm lucky that I've felt called to create and write since I was a kid. I'm an author now but I tell anyone who isn't by trade to do what you've done, David: to write your way to greater clarity. Most do that in a journal. You're doing it here, on Substack. Keep going. This is a beautiful post.
I don’t think a personal myth is a goal or a fool’s errand. I think we all have them, but I’m not sure we can easily choose or chase them. Many of us probably don’t even recognize ours. It seems like something ingrained that can be shifted over time with intention, but not simply plucked off a shelf - or easily discarded.
I think the stories we tell ourselves about our lives ARE who we are. They are powerful and protective, though they can also be false and limiting.
Before I retired, I called those small wins, laying down bricks. I think that's what you're still doing here. It's refreshing to read about you re-examining ideas about yourself you thought were settled. You're alive! It's comforting to read that you're sharing more of what you have in the ways you wish to. I'm letting go of more things I thought were settled about me because they don't fit this period of my life very well including organizing activities around goals. With the gift of time, I'm exploring and testing different ways to be and to be helpful in our culture which I'm resigned to for the rest of this ride.
Superhero wisdom it is so true in that no kindness, success or victory is too small. Either in one's life or In one's writing. Thanks so much. It is like fictional Reacher who helps others and fictional Neagley who helps and also intervenes on behalf of others (like Reacher).
True, Reacher and the spinoff Neagley are both very action oriented. But Neagley is more relevant to family and societal issues. The little guys versus the big guys. The failings and corruption and collusion in big business. Done very realistically although most viewers are there for the action rather than the social commentary. This is another case where action pays for he message or the social commentary. Maybe see the first episode of Neagley to just test it. It is very brutal but the underlying issues are very real. The 5th episode contains an incredibly damning indictment of a particularly segment of big business. Both series may be too focused on action and not resonate but the main thing is that you do a lot to help folks both in your writing and in your life. You are real. If you and your life were fictional many readers might not think people like yourself actually exist. That's where the myth comes in and I do think you are living your myth, which is awesome advice for the rest of us.
Loved this post--and it mirrors something I'm grappling with--the notion of maintaining a sense of relevance (redefining my 'personal myth', perhaps?) now that I've moved on from my corporate life....
David, I admit to frustration. This post is centered on the idea of a personal myth, and you tell us that your personal myth has solidified, but you never state it or formulate it.
I can only guess that it would be painful to put it down nakedly in so many words.
My preference would be for you to not discuss your personal myth unless you are willing to share it explicitly and plainly with us.
Since we live approximately 1800 miles apart and we are not personally acquainted, I can only express a very long-distance view, but your narrative arc appears to resemble that of Andrew Carnegie, who spent his first period of life building up resources and his last season of life wisely sharing them.
Would you care to build on that impression?
The words below were my effort to capture what I view as my personal myth. Let me know if you think I ought to be more specific or clarify anything.
"Now, four years later, I feel that my myth has solidified. I spend much of my time looking after and helping others. Being a decent person.
It’s not the myth of a hero or a charismatic leader or the creator of anything legendary. It’s simply taking advantage of opportunities to commit numerous acts of kindness and love, some small, some larger."
Your myth was so small and gentle that it crept under my radar. More than good enough!
If you don't mind Kathleen and I'm not attempting toto speak for David but what I think happens to all of us. Life is so large and we are also so wide abs deep that if we are so certain and have a very narrow myth at some point it won't fit us. For example if I say my myth is I'm a person who always does good things and spreads cheer. Or I am the person who fixes problems. What if we discover we frequently cause problems or what we think is good is actually harmful what happens to our myth. Then we might have to change it. Saying I'm the best accountant in the state can be a personal myth and an actual fact or maybe only one of them is true for us. That's a really narrow way to see ourselves as a good accountant.
My point is that the myth we tell ourselves is likely to be vague and ill defined if it's not like a person who thinks he's the best deal maker who ever dealt deals it's a maybe not good for us and less likely to be true.
I don't know man, I think it's really good if we can share what our personal myths are and get questions not saying it's wrong but why that specific myth and how the person is making it real because it helps us get there and discover who we are.
My last thoughts are the myths we have about ourselves are more interesting and important than what they actually are. And like you Kathleen I felt part of David's myth was a bit vague it's more than one thing. But I liked it because he showed he has a better idea what it's not 😂😆 which I thought is pretty damn cool.
I don't even know if mine is even a myth. I try not to take mine to seriously I just try and focus on what I feel and want. Thanks for reading me.
Now y’all have gotten me to wondering what my personal myth is. I’ll chew on this tonight while driving my late night wedding shuttle for peanuts, in my polyester company shirt. So I’ll steer clear of the grandiose.
Good analysis.
Why Thank you Jane
Thanks Banji for the comment. You make no sense interesting point about how specific a personal myth can be. I think of an athlete in their prime who is the best in the world at something and then later is not.
LOVE this post. Especially this: No success or victory is too small to be insignificant. Each interaction with a customer, a vendor, or a fellow employee is an opportunity for a “win.” It is these small wins that are the surest path to overall winning.
Thanks Helen.
'You win by winning ": spot on!
...meaninglessness and dread. Those words got me and describe how I feel sometimes, specially after a successful event. Its that now what and what's it all about feeling, and maybe wondering if the best is behind us. Its not. You live by living and experiencing the joy
of everyday life.
Thanks Deepa.
When I retired from full time employment the focus shifted from what do I do as an individual to how will I find deeper meaning in given and chosen family relationships.
Thanks Jonathan.
I absolutely love A Dance to the Music of Time and it’s the perfect example of creating a myth - knitting together stories and observations from the slow arc of a life and the accumulation of small observations. This is now sometimes also called branding, especially on social media. The best way I’ve heard it described is basically: what do people think of when they think of you? and I really do think that’s the best way to consider it. What do you mean to people?
Everyone means lots of things; I think it’s really affirming to think of it that way.
A fellow Dance fan!
Proust wrote that:
"our social personality is a creation of the minds of others."
page 19-20 in my Kindle version of Swann's Way
You pose a thoughtful question. A personal myth is a valid goal if the person has self awareness.
Thanks Carissa
Sure you don´t really think you´d be able to `make sense´ of your life story while being involved in it ? Maybe your mother, relatives, former pets a.o. now being THERE and looking down on you and smiling might have a clue and hope for the best of you that and while you keep on keeping on (analogue to "win by winning") - if they really care at all - prob´ly they´re, "their soul" or whatever are already tangled up in new "circumstances" or still recovering from their life on `Earth´. You´ll `know´ sooner or later, don´t worry.
This Substack is one of the few I open every single week, and always enjoy and learn from. Your comment about doing small good things each day made me think of my favorite line from the irreplaceable Annie Dillard: "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."
Thanks Jennifer. True!
I feel the same about David's substack
We are fans!
Same! Thank goodness for David Roberts, a Substack winner, helpful tips, enjoyable to read
Your post reminds me of Hamlet's line: "There is nothing either true or false but thinking makes it so." We assign significance to that which we deem significant. And we can deem anything significant. I'm lucky that I've felt called to create and write since I was a kid. I'm an author now but I tell anyone who isn't by trade to do what you've done, David: to write your way to greater clarity. Most do that in a journal. You're doing it here, on Substack. Keep going. This is a beautiful post.
Thanks Paul. Appreciate the encouragement.
Oh snap! That Hamlet line!
I don’t think a personal myth is a goal or a fool’s errand. I think we all have them, but I’m not sure we can easily choose or chase them. Many of us probably don’t even recognize ours. It seems like something ingrained that can be shifted over time with intention, but not simply plucked off a shelf - or easily discarded.
I think the stories we tell ourselves about our lives ARE who we are. They are powerful and protective, though they can also be false and limiting.
Thanks for the comment Elizabeth. I agree with what you've said and you've said it very concisely and well.
Before I retired, I called those small wins, laying down bricks. I think that's what you're still doing here. It's refreshing to read about you re-examining ideas about yourself you thought were settled. You're alive! It's comforting to read that you're sharing more of what you have in the ways you wish to. I'm letting go of more things I thought were settled about me because they don't fit this period of my life very well including organizing activities around goals. With the gift of time, I'm exploring and testing different ways to be and to be helpful in our culture which I'm resigned to for the rest of this ride.
Thanks for the comment Bonnie. The examined life!
I like your concept of laying down bricks.
Superhero wisdom it is so true in that no kindness, success or victory is too small. Either in one's life or In one's writing. Thanks so much. It is like fictional Reacher who helps others and fictional Neagley who helps and also intervenes on behalf of others (like Reacher).
Thanks Larry. I've resisted reacher so far. Is it much more than solely the action?
True, Reacher and the spinoff Neagley are both very action oriented. But Neagley is more relevant to family and societal issues. The little guys versus the big guys. The failings and corruption and collusion in big business. Done very realistically although most viewers are there for the action rather than the social commentary. This is another case where action pays for he message or the social commentary. Maybe see the first episode of Neagley to just test it. It is very brutal but the underlying issues are very real. The 5th episode contains an incredibly damning indictment of a particularly segment of big business. Both series may be too focused on action and not resonate but the main thing is that you do a lot to help folks both in your writing and in your life. You are real. If you and your life were fictional many readers might not think people like yourself actually exist. That's where the myth comes in and I do think you are living your myth, which is awesome advice for the rest of us.
A Hero's Journey does not necessarily require Indiana Jones-style swashbuckling!
Plus there are those snakes!
As for personal myth, yes I agree most have one. Or many, and perhaps not as well-considered as yours. You could do much worse.
On another note, Switzy last week and Kahneman this.
Loved this post--and it mirrors something I'm grappling with--the notion of maintaining a sense of relevance (redefining my 'personal myth', perhaps?) now that I've moved on from my corporate life....
Diana, I think relevance is certainly a factor once we leave our careers, which give us automatic activity and some portion of our identity.