Very interesting, I can relate. Love the Borat reference. My main comment is this, I don't encounter that many pretentious people anymore, and but I DO encounter a similar breed, the ideologically possessed carrying a moral certitude. I think its a lot of the same people, but the zeitgeist has shifted, as has their attempts at status increase.
David, ha ha I’m tempted to say several things but I’m kicking my own shin to remind me to shut up. I will ask this… did you continue to go to pretentious dinner parties?? Now you can kick my shin!
I’m at a dinner party in Houston 15 years ago. The talk moves from the realtor host’s three chihuahuas (I called them rat dogs but when one showed up at a house closing of mine in a dress - it WAS kind of cute) to a guest’s two bulldogs. The guest explained that several times a year, her bulldogs had to have their adrenal glands expressed and what that entailed. I’m not a fan of anything that requires human hands on canine genitalia. Period. I wanted to say loudly “So you or your vet are touching your dogs’ balls for their health- on a regular basis?!? EWWWWWW!” (I may be describing this procedure incorrectly but it’s too gross for me to care).
However, I remained silent and pretended this was all so interesting. 🤨 But I wanted to 🤮.
Anal glands are at the rim off the anus which of course is attached to the rectum, not the balls. I think the glands contribute lubrication and aroma, perhaps to contribute a dogs personal scent when it defecates. It’s a quick process but repellent. On the other hand, if it’s not done often the dog will scoot its gross butt across your rug in an attempt to achieve the same result, leaving tell tale marks. Definitely not dinner table conversation.
Our Sophie had one of her glands "pop out" and we took her to the "Animal Hospital" (which is open 24/7) and they fixed her up. Doing it ourselves? Not a chance!
Ellen, that would certainly elicit a strong reaction!
Our Sophie had one of her glands "pop out" and we took her to the "Animal Hospital" (which is open 24/7) and they fixed her up. Doing it ourselves? Not a chance!
David,Mr Roberts,please forgive me for commenting. Im sure I'm your least favourite commenter due to my irrational blind spot on lawyers. I prefer reading but I opted to listen to this so I could carry on with various tasks. Now I never go to Dinner Parties,I'm not in that strata but I suspect even if I were I wouldn't get an invite. Sad but true. BUT in effect I do what you said every day,on my Substack. But I'm NOT trying to be deliberately appalling and shock or upset. I've never had to try hard to be appalling! Im cutting out all news and current affairs. So I wont get triggered! But a news break slips through,why do music radio stations have to have them. And the news item is so appalling but also ludicrous that I have to call it out. It doesn't matter if no one reads my note or comment,or likes,the important thing is I've called it out. But that could be seen in the way you say. Still how other people receive my opinions is not in my control so no point worrying about it. This story was very funny and in pure logic you were right AND I bet if someone did commission and Andy Warhol and then sold things created by him I bet people would buy even if you had a Big Prominent Sign saying "Not THE Andy Warhol". You could market it as a "post ironic " joke if that is still a thing and of course you'd need to get it talked up by the right people.
I enjoy your comments and I relate very much to being triggered. Maybe my joke could have done well after all. My son told me that Burger King was running ads of people with famous names showing their pictures. The joke was they were eating plant based Whoppers.
David, I loved this essay! I always listen to your audio, which is equally wonderful. I was an art history major in undergrad and in the mid 1990s got my masters in Visual Arts Administration at NYU. Reagan era economic policy had a devastating effect on government funding for museums and other nonprofits who realized their leadership was under qualified to lead the business side of their organizations.
While they still rejected straight up business school graduates (MBAs), they were willing to make room for professionals who were well versed in the business side of the arts. This was also the dawn of the Internet which led to new copyright and intellectual property laws related to the reproduction of works online and the explosion merchandising offerings in gift shops.
In the mid 1990s Jeff Koons took art merchandising to new heights with his large scale sculptures, Balloon Dogs which sold at auction for record breaking prices for a living artist at the time. Koons conceptualized his sculptures but had artisans in his studio create the work. I thought your reference to selling an authentic Andy Warhol (albeit not by the famous artist) to be spot on for those ambiguous times in the art world the lines were blurred between artist and art work. I particularly loved my art law classes. Had your intentions been parody, you would have been legally protected against fraud and possible copyright infringement.
I was thinking about Jeff Koons, He seems to have been in the right place at the right time with the right marketing. We had a friend who owned a Jeff Koons basketball in a fish tank. It went on to be worth many millions. I still "don't get it" and I suppose I never will.
Perhaps even as parody, the faux Warhols would have done well.
I enjoyed this so much! My husband and I totally get it—we kick each other under the table sometimes, too. Spouses really do know each other’s rants a little ‘too’ well.
Yet I did smoke weed too many times, to keep up with my friends who know how to drink, and just because. So who knows I probably said lots of funny and clever things or at least they felt superfunny and superclever at the moment.
Thank you, David-liked the read and it reminded me both of "The Guest" by Emma Cline and " The Portrait of A Mirror" by A. Natasha Joukovsky.
I love the brazenness that youth affords us, although I know many men who continue to make mischief in conversation. I've been a little disappointed to realize that the cheeky, witty, possibly goading comments I used to get away with making in my twenties are no longer so charming at forty. But I think if I push through, they'll become socially tolerable again. I plan to be eighty years old and making lots of people as uncomfortable as politeness allows.
ooo Isabel, I want to be there when you’re a brazen 80-something. But that’s probably not feasible… how about if you are a brazen 50-something. I can’t wait to listen in!
Absolutely enjoyed this recollection. Giggled throughout and wondered if this is a “finance” thing as my husband whose in finance also does what I call “launching grenades” in certain company to stir the pot. Generally I think his reason is to engage interesting conversation but I think at times for a bit of amusement too.
Thanks Francesca, Sometimes I will try to redirect the conversation to something I think more interesting, at least to me. Bit this was a case of pure. mischief
This is hilarious, David, and in quick reply to your question, I am constantly tempted to skewer artistic and literary pretensions - in some of my past public jibes, I recall at least one a decade ago at a packed literary conference session - I think the session was about making money as a poet. During the Q&A, I stood up and asked, “Where is the money supposed to come from?” As I recall, there was dead silence from the panel, then a bunch of hemming and hawing about grants (to which I laughed out loud) and building an audience (another guffaw from me).
BTW, the “real” Andy Warhol would have loved your scheme. In at least one interview, he talked about doing silkscreens because they could be mass-produced and that it was fine with him if people copied his stuff. He was always thinking like a brand marketer 😉
I suppose "Making Money as a Poet" has bit of the unintended Onion humor. I'm glad you called BS!
We have a riff on Warhol's flowers series done by a photographer we really like. it's visually more appealing to us, because it has trompe l'oeil depth although obviously a small fraction of the value of the original.
Passive aggressive with alcohol?
Very interesting, I can relate. Love the Borat reference. My main comment is this, I don't encounter that many pretentious people anymore, and but I DO encounter a similar breed, the ideologically possessed carrying a moral certitude. I think its a lot of the same people, but the zeitgeist has shifted, as has their attempts at status increase.
Well, there are definitely things I'm pretentious about so it might be that I was offended by an offense I was guilty of in other realms.
"The variety of human pretension is limited only by imagination."
David, ha ha I’m tempted to say several things but I’m kicking my own shin to remind me to shut up. I will ask this… did you continue to go to pretentious dinner parties?? Now you can kick my shin!
Perhaps I've done what I described more than a few times so we hardly have an onslaught of invitations!
I’m at a dinner party in Houston 15 years ago. The talk moves from the realtor host’s three chihuahuas (I called them rat dogs but when one showed up at a house closing of mine in a dress - it WAS kind of cute) to a guest’s two bulldogs. The guest explained that several times a year, her bulldogs had to have their adrenal glands expressed and what that entailed. I’m not a fan of anything that requires human hands on canine genitalia. Period. I wanted to say loudly “So you or your vet are touching your dogs’ balls for their health- on a regular basis?!? EWWWWWW!” (I may be describing this procedure incorrectly but it’s too gross for me to care).
However, I remained silent and pretended this was all so interesting. 🤨 But I wanted to 🤮.
- a dog person (really). Be well all.
Anal glands are at the rim off the anus which of course is attached to the rectum, not the balls. I think the glands contribute lubrication and aroma, perhaps to contribute a dogs personal scent when it defecates. It’s a quick process but repellent. On the other hand, if it’s not done often the dog will scoot its gross butt across your rug in an attempt to achieve the same result, leaving tell tale marks. Definitely not dinner table conversation.
Our Sophie had one of her glands "pop out" and we took her to the "Animal Hospital" (which is open 24/7) and they fixed her up. Doing it ourselves? Not a chance!
Ellen, that would certainly elicit a strong reaction!
Our Sophie had one of her glands "pop out" and we took her to the "Animal Hospital" (which is open 24/7) and they fixed her up. Doing it ourselves? Not a chance!
Fun to read!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TC0968-36s4
That is a funny video! Thanks.
Fun read! Glad happy-go-lucky David is back!
David,Mr Roberts,please forgive me for commenting. Im sure I'm your least favourite commenter due to my irrational blind spot on lawyers. I prefer reading but I opted to listen to this so I could carry on with various tasks. Now I never go to Dinner Parties,I'm not in that strata but I suspect even if I were I wouldn't get an invite. Sad but true. BUT in effect I do what you said every day,on my Substack. But I'm NOT trying to be deliberately appalling and shock or upset. I've never had to try hard to be appalling! Im cutting out all news and current affairs. So I wont get triggered! But a news break slips through,why do music radio stations have to have them. And the news item is so appalling but also ludicrous that I have to call it out. It doesn't matter if no one reads my note or comment,or likes,the important thing is I've called it out. But that could be seen in the way you say. Still how other people receive my opinions is not in my control so no point worrying about it. This story was very funny and in pure logic you were right AND I bet if someone did commission and Andy Warhol and then sold things created by him I bet people would buy even if you had a Big Prominent Sign saying "Not THE Andy Warhol". You could market it as a "post ironic " joke if that is still a thing and of course you'd need to get it talked up by the right people.
Jane,
I enjoy your comments and I relate very much to being triggered. Maybe my joke could have done well after all. My son told me that Burger King was running ads of people with famous names showing their pictures. The joke was they were eating plant based Whoppers.
The trick would be in the branding: "The *Other Andy Warhol." "*That* Andy Worhol." "The *Better* Andy Warhol."
David, I loved this essay! I always listen to your audio, which is equally wonderful. I was an art history major in undergrad and in the mid 1990s got my masters in Visual Arts Administration at NYU. Reagan era economic policy had a devastating effect on government funding for museums and other nonprofits who realized their leadership was under qualified to lead the business side of their organizations.
While they still rejected straight up business school graduates (MBAs), they were willing to make room for professionals who were well versed in the business side of the arts. This was also the dawn of the Internet which led to new copyright and intellectual property laws related to the reproduction of works online and the explosion merchandising offerings in gift shops.
In the mid 1990s Jeff Koons took art merchandising to new heights with his large scale sculptures, Balloon Dogs which sold at auction for record breaking prices for a living artist at the time. Koons conceptualized his sculptures but had artisans in his studio create the work. I thought your reference to selling an authentic Andy Warhol (albeit not by the famous artist) to be spot on for those ambiguous times in the art world the lines were blurred between artist and art work. I particularly loved my art law classes. Had your intentions been parody, you would have been legally protected against fraud and possible copyright infringement.
I was thinking about Jeff Koons, He seems to have been in the right place at the right time with the right marketing. We had a friend who owned a Jeff Koons basketball in a fish tank. It went on to be worth many millions. I still "don't get it" and I suppose I never will.
Perhaps even as parody, the faux Warhols would have done well.
I enjoyed this so much! My husband and I totally get it—we kick each other under the table sometimes, too. Spouses really do know each other’s rants a little ‘too’ well.
My favourite yet!
You truly are the Larry David of Art world dinner parties 🤣
Now you've gone too far in your praise to compare to my LD!
The title is amazing: untamed and mutinous 😂. And it fits the story perfectly!
No. I follow my parents' and Chekhov's advice.
Yet I did smoke weed too many times, to keep up with my friends who know how to drink, and just because. So who knows I probably said lots of funny and clever things or at least they felt superfunny and superclever at the moment.
Thank you, David-liked the read and it reminded me both of "The Guest" by Emma Cline and " The Portrait of A Mirror" by A. Natasha Joukovsky.
Chen, this are two of my my most favorite novels of the past few years, so high praise indeed.
🩵
I love the brazenness that youth affords us, although I know many men who continue to make mischief in conversation. I've been a little disappointed to realize that the cheeky, witty, possibly goading comments I used to get away with making in my twenties are no longer so charming at forty. But I think if I push through, they'll become socially tolerable again. I plan to be eighty years old and making lots of people as uncomfortable as politeness allows.
Thanks Isabel. There's the Maggie Smith character in Downton Abbey who can get away with pretty much anything.
ooo Isabel, I want to be there when you’re a brazen 80-something. But that’s probably not feasible… how about if you are a brazen 50-something. I can’t wait to listen in!
Absolutely enjoyed this recollection. Giggled throughout and wondered if this is a “finance” thing as my husband whose in finance also does what I call “launching grenades” in certain company to stir the pot. Generally I think his reason is to engage interesting conversation but I think at times for a bit of amusement too.
Thanks Francesca, Sometimes I will try to redirect the conversation to something I think more interesting, at least to me. Bit this was a case of pure. mischief
This is hilarious, David, and in quick reply to your question, I am constantly tempted to skewer artistic and literary pretensions - in some of my past public jibes, I recall at least one a decade ago at a packed literary conference session - I think the session was about making money as a poet. During the Q&A, I stood up and asked, “Where is the money supposed to come from?” As I recall, there was dead silence from the panel, then a bunch of hemming and hawing about grants (to which I laughed out loud) and building an audience (another guffaw from me).
BTW, the “real” Andy Warhol would have loved your scheme. In at least one interview, he talked about doing silkscreens because they could be mass-produced and that it was fine with him if people copied his stuff. He was always thinking like a brand marketer 😉
I suppose "Making Money as a Poet" has bit of the unintended Onion humor. I'm glad you called BS!
We have a riff on Warhol's flowers series done by a photographer we really like. it's visually more appealing to us, because it has trompe l'oeil depth although obviously a small fraction of the value of the original.